Recently Thomas and Neil tried to get me to 'sign up' to share my Confirmation experience when I sit in my catechism class during my next visit (in July! heehee! I'm leaving on the 14th to go Singapore :D). I declined. It's not just because I have no guts, it's because seriously, Confirmation is Confirmation and that's it. You don't really get a huge boost in faith because of it; any faith-boosters will come from other, small things. And you never stop. So that led me to a long, chim thinking session, where I came up with several stupid, idiotic, weird-sounding poems about faith and finally ended up writing a page about it. It doesn't really make sense and it's very luosuo
, but I thought you'd like to see it. As well as the best of the stupid, idiotic, etc. poems.
When you asked me if I could share my Confirmation experience with everybody else, I’m sure what you had in mind was a drastic change, something dramatic, something out of movies or books. But I’m afraid that to come up and say that Confirmation really changed my life would be a whopping lie, which could be explained rather simply with the following metaphor.
My faith, and everybody else’s, is a journey that may seem long and tedious. It’s a journey that will last your entire lifetime, from the moment that you are born, till the moment you die. But wait- an important point to note is that death does not mark the end of our religious journey. Death is but a reminder that we leave our earthly bodies behind, along with our sin, and our love for sin, for no matter what you say, every human being is not perfect. In the Garden of Eden Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit, and since then the human race has been condemned to a life of sin. It is one we can give up, but not easily. That is where death comes in. Death is where we give up this life of sin, and we embark on a new journey, one that takes place in paradise- it’s the journey of eternal life, without sin, with love, and happiness.
Confirmation is seen as the point where you become, in religious terms, an adult. You are blessed with the gifts of the Holy Spirit. But all this is intangible and easy to forget when you are caught up with the rush of life in this world. When you are caught up it is easy to see Confirmation as a drive-through stop in the journey; you stop, you get some faith and some gifts, and you drive away, same as before. But no. Confirmation is not like that.
Any changes in faith along the journey will have to come from you, from the person himself. God may offer His gifts to you, but it is your choice whether you decide to use them or not. When you use them, your life is changed, and you change the lives of the people around you whether you know it or not. It is then that this drastic change you expected earlier happens. It is not when the Bishop marks chrism on your forehead; it is not when you stand up and say that yes, you will defy Satan, you will love God. It is when you finally decide to take notice of the presents that God has bestowed upon you, and use them for good.
There are things that lead up to this decision. It’s not one where you wake up and you suddenly decide to do it. Faith is, after all, like I said, long and tedious, and the journey may seem never-ending. But along the way you may encounter inspirational moments- like reading a captivating book, or listening to a great homily. It doesn’t make you a saint to promise that you will be a better person. We all have our weaknesses and we succumb to temptation every now and then. But it doesn’t hurt to try to be a better person, to try to be more deserving of the eternal life that awaits you.
I’m not that person. At times I’ve promised myself to give up material things for God but it’s not so easy. It’s like a half life, and as I once heard, God doesn’t allow sitting on the fence. I think it’s in the Bible that you’re either hot or cold, you can’t be lukewarm. In other words, you have to dedicate yourself wholly to God. You can’t be a hypocrite. And I can easily admit that at times I know I am one. I sin, I go to Church, I say penance for my sins… and then I go out and sin all over again. It’s a vicious cycle that even getting Confirmed can’t cure.
That’s why I can’t share anything about my Confirmation experience in particular. I’m just the same as everyone else, Confirmed or not.
It might be easier just to read the poem, but the poem doesn't encompass the whole of the idea.Faith is a long, tedious journey
That ends in eternal life
Death is not in the equation
Satan has no place in paradise
With God death is eliminated
What the journey ends, is not life,
But sin, and love for sin
What the journey ends in, is not death,
But love, for God and for each other
Faith is a long tedious journey
But life with love is worth the wait.
Hope I haven't clogged your mind with my roundabout thinking.